Be the change you want to see in the world.
(Mohandas
Gandhi)
I want to end the
exploration of the role of emotions in education by giving some general remarks
about optimism, humility, and spirituality.
Optimism
is the expectation that life will be mostly good, that things will work out. Ideally, happiness and optimism go hand in
hand—but not necessarily. We can feel blue or blah yet recognize it as a
passing mood. We can be dissatisfied in our work or relationships but believe
that better times lie ahead. We can acknowledge a painful situation without
concluding that the universe is permanently against us. That is, we can be momentarily sad, but remain optimistic. But optimism has many benefits.
Optimism
enhances well-being because it leads to greater engagement with life. Engagement is a key factor. Better mental and physical health is tied to efforts
expended to realize goals, so long as they are internally motivated. A large circle of friends, higher education, and
greater socioeconomic status play a part in fueling optimism and are, in turn,
fueled by it. These all result from the
priorities you set and the actions taken to achieve them.
Optimism's
real power, however, might lie not so much in what it does for us but in what
it compels us to do. Optimists not only
trust that the future will be mostly good, but they also believe their actions
shape their destinies. This may be why optimists are more likely to eat right
and exercise and are less likely to smoke or engage in other risky habits. When
an optimist does get sick, he or she is more apt to research and seek the best
medical care and actively participate in treatment—all of which may improve the
prognosis. Medical literature is full of
stories of people recovering from some terrible illness simply by believing
that healing will occur. Seeing the
glass as half full rather than half-empty is not “factually” more correct, but
acting like an optimist can bolster your body, mind, and spirit. Too,
greater religious involvement is positively associated with more positive
feelings and emotions. Optimism can
help spiritualize your life.
Spirituality is brought
out with engagement in the meaningful questions of human existence. Surveys by Gallup, the National Opinion Research Center and the Pew
Organization conclude that spiritually committed people are twice as
likely to report being "very happy" than the least religiously
committed people. Strong religious
commitment has also been linked with a lower risk of depression and drug abuse
and fewer suicide attempts, and a greater sense of well-being and self-esteem
and lower levels of hypertension and
clinical delinquency. Overall,
religion is a positive contributor to mental health; religious people, in
general, have less psychological distress, more life satisfaction, and better self-actualization.
Faith
is one of our most powerful endowments, certainly the one most capable of
bringing a new reality into our lives, for imagination gives the future shape
and faith shapes an uncertain destiny—again, the link to optimism. The more an assumption is repeated the more permanent
the neural structure becomes, the more we see “reality” that way. Thoreau said: ‘Go confidently in the
direction of your dreams. Live the life
you have imagined.” Such statements make
the darkness shine. Daily persistent
repetition of “affirmations” can also awaken spirituality. Constructing one’s reality is based on the
principle that what is “out there” points to what is “in here”, and what is “in
here” points to what could be out there.
If we understand this relationship we will be well. But what is understanding? It is linked with humility.
Literally,
understanding means to stand under. It
is to put oneself in a lower place, to stand under him or her, so one may
understand. The House of Justice
encourages the Baha’is to “adopt a humble posture of learning.” This is to stand under, not to seek
leadership or domination or authority, but opportunities of service and
knowledge.
‘Abdu’l-Bahá was often likened to an ocean,
not just because He seemed bigger than any situation, but also because His deep
humility made Him put Himself lower than everyone else and thus serve them. All waters flow to the ocean for it is at the
lowest point, yet the ocean is also the fount of all life. Humility is not such total self-effacement
that one feels unworthy to do anything.
Humility is an attitude that seeks out service; that always wishes to
help. It should be the chief quality of
the leaders of humankind.
Business
consultant Steven Covey writes: “You can’t have a oneness, a unity, without
humility….The great servant leaders have that humility, the hallmark of inner
religion.” (Principle-Centered Leadership:92)
I choose these
emotions mostly because they allow us to empathize and tune in harmoniously to one
another. They are part of creating healthy
relationships between people, to achieve a “resonant fit” between teacher and student,
of transforming the negativity the world is spewing out in torrents into a
healthy inner spiritual environment, sort of like cleaning up a polluted river. Best of all, the various building blocks of a
positive outlook, such as optimism, gratitude, mindfulness, and spirituality, are
“infectious” as a good belly-laugh is.
In fact, they are more infectious than are the negative emotions of
fear, anxiety, anger, depression. Thus,
we must demonstrate these emotions and encourage students to develop them.
Young
people who strove for authenticity with their parents, teachers and peers
developed stronger bonds and were less troubled by depression or self-esteem
issues later in life. Those who chose to
hide their true feelings from their parents and teachers -- or were too shy or
worried to share them -- risked being depressed by their lack of openness. People
who feel insecure in their relationships or avoided getting close to others
appear to have a greater risk of developing several chronic diseases. But extra attention and emotional support from
family members seemed to help diminish some of the feelings of depression.
The phrase
“avoidant attachment” has been coined to show the association between people
who feel unable to get close to others or have others depend on them and
chronic pain, such as frequent or severe headaches. Another term, "anxious attachment"
-- a tendency to worry about rejection in relationships, feel overly needy and
find that others are reluctant to get close -- was associated with a wide range
of health problems, including heart-related diseases, such as stroke, heart
attack and high blood pressure. Anxious attachment was also linked to a higher
risk of chronic pain and ulcers.
It
takes no great leap of imagination to see that avoidant attachment and anxiety
attachment are two expressions of a single set of behaviors. Those who avoid intimacy and authenticity in
their relationships may do so from the anxiety that if they do the person they
want to be intimate with will leave them.
Better not to get involved and set up the possibility of getting
hurt. These avoidant behaviors are most
likely based on traumatic childhood experience.
Early
experiences with caregivers shape a child's core beliefs about self, others,
and life in general. Experiences of the baby and young child are encoded in the
brain. Emotional experiences of nurturance and protection are encoded in the
brain's limbic area, the emotional center. Over time, repeated encoded
experiences become internal working models - core beliefs about self, self in
relation to others, and the world in general. These core beliefs become the
lens through which children (and later adults) view themselves and others,
especially authority and attachment figures. Core beliefs serve to interpret
the present and anticipate the future. Changing
core beliefs is quite challenging, because core beliefs are rigid, automatic,
and associated with self-protection and survival. Yet without change, negative
core beliefs formed early in life remain fixed into adulthood, with severe
social, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual consequences.
